Agent Fox Mulder (i_want_2) wrote in torch_high,
Agent Fox Mulder

Fic: Lunch Time At Torchwood High 1/1 Ianto/Owen CRACK! G

Title: Lunch Time At Torchwood High
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood.
Characters: Ensemble - Gwen, Ianto, Jack, Owen, Tosh
Words: 1440
Prompt: 7 HighSchool AU
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Owen/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys - Implied Jack/Ianto, Lisa/Ianto
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Language, Violence
Summary: Highschool Blues.
Author's Note: Pure Crack! American Highschool AU.

Ianto was the first to arrive at their table, but not the first one in the quad. That honor fell to Jack, who he sometimes thought lived on the bench closest to the parking lot. Setting the picnic basket on the ground next to the table, Ianto pulled out the table cloth and draped it over the top. After evening out the corners to match the lines in the cloth, he grabbed the plates and silver wear. He had just finished setting five places when Jack wandered over to his usual spot.

Grinning brightly, Jack tugged on the front of his football pants. The ball under his arm was squeezed out until it popped on to the table. "You're looking extra sharp today, Ianto."

"Thank you, sir." Ianto was careful to bend at the knees away from Jack, a goosing of his ass had ended with a goose egg on his forehead last time. This time, he pulled up napkins, cups, and saucers. Placing them on and around the plates, he finished setting up the table. "If you will excuse me, I have a carafe of coffee to attend."

"Not at all, Ianto." In fact, Jack was looking forward to it. Watching the other teen leave, he whistled loud enough to echo off the school building.

"Oi, keep your eyes off my teaboy!" Smacking Jack in the back of the head, Owen came around him to other side of the table. Owen spun a chair around and straddled it backwards. A PDA in his free hand, he read over the contents. "I've been checking your stats from last Friday's game, Jack. Unless you're lame, you got distracted again. What was it this time, tight bums in uniforms, a cheer leader pop from her top?"

"Nothing so interesting. The grass was wet." Shrugging, Jack picked up his football and spun it in the air. Distracted from Owen, he forgot the other was mad at him until he was kicked in the shin. "Ow! I've got practice this afternoon!"

"Not if you don't pay attention!" Holding the PDA so Jack could see it, Owen pressed a control key. "Now watch the animation, Harkness, else you won't understand a thing this afternoon. As team captain, it's my job to ensure you lot understand the plays."

"No, as team captain, it's your job to deal with the towels and ensure we got plenty of gatorade!" Pinching Owen's cheek, Jack blew him a mock kiss. "But it's sweet of you to try."

Eyes narrowed, Owen was about to do something rash until a shadow fell over the table.

Setting her laptop bag beside her chair, Tosh plopped down with a mighty groan.

Taking her hand, Jack patted it comfortingly. "What's the matter, Tosh? Mistress Yvonne running you geeks ragged?"

"I wish." Tugging her own PDA out, an exact duplicate of Owen's, Tosh hit the power button and thrust it in to Jack's hands. "She's at it again!"

"Oh no." Jack hit the scroll command as he scanned over the text.

"What?" Owen leaned over the table and snatched it from Jack. Scanning the screen quickly, he snorted before flipping it back to Tosh. "Bloody Gwen and her shitty poetry."

"She and Rhys must be on the rocks again." With a groan, Tosh put her PDA back in her jacket pocket. "She'll be dressed in black tomorrow, I hope for her sake it'll be cloudy."

"What's this?" Arriving with two pitchers, one of Coffee, the other of Tea, Ianto eased between Jack and Owen to set them on the table. Picking up the coffee, he filled both teen's cups.

"Bout time." Owen sipped his glass before glancing up at Ianto. "At least it's hot."

"Shut up, Owen. Thank you, Ianto." As her cup was filled, Tosh grabbed the sugar packet he offered from his apron pocket. "We were just discussing Gwen and Rhys. They're fighting again."

"Terrible poetry in your email?" At her nod, Ianto sighed. "Right, I'll hide the matches." That had been one of his favorite table clothes.

"I'll have a talk with her, see if I can't work it out. Again." Smiling, Jack tried to put a hand on Ianto's lower back, but Owen's glaring visage behind the teen's behind deterred him. Instead, Jack stretched and sat back in his chair. "What are we having today, handsome?"

"Jack." Ianto stopped Owen from coming out of his seat by a hand on the back of his neck. He ignored the way the other teen glared at him, knowing he didn't really mean it. "Today I have Chicken Tetrazzini. Sided with green beans boiled with potatoes and bacon. The bread is focaccia with black olives and garlic. A banana smoothie is for dessert topped with whipped cream and chopped caramel chips."

"Sounds edible." Smacking Ianto on the ass, Owen stood up and twirled his chair right ways. Sitting back down, he folded his arms. "So, where is old moping Jane?"

"Mr. Manger has her tied to a desk for the next ten minutes." Tosh shuddered at the thought of their vice principal. The man just exuded evil some times. "She tripped over Mr. Saxon's monitor cables this morning in AV class. He gave her automatic detention for the rest of the week. I swear, if he becomes the principal next year, I'm changing schools."

Having slipped out while she was talking, Ianto returned quickly with the lunch minus the dessert. As he doled it out, the quad started to fill with the chatter of arriving students. The green beans weren't met with a welcome smile, but he still gave each a generous portion. "Lisa recommended the lake beans, I say I must agree."

Dropping his fork, Owen grabbed Ianto's hand. "I told you to stay away from that crazy bitch."

"You can't control your own pathetic little friendships, what makes you think you have a say in mine? Besides, she is my lab partner in Ms. Harriet Jones' cooking class. Without her, you would be back to eating those disgusting vending snacks." Taking his hand back, Ianto finished service by handing out the small rounds of flat bread. He gave Tosh and Jack a brilliant smile to make them comfortable. "Dinner is served."

"It looks wonderful, Ianto, smells even better." Though his words were for the standing teen, Jack's gaze was leveled on Owen. His wide smile grew at the heated glare. "Careful, Owen, you might set something on fire with that."

"I hid the matches... Oh." It took Ianto looking at Owen to understand Jack's words. Rolling his eyes skywards, Ianto pried Owen's hand from the fork he was holding and placed it firmly over his stomach.

The reaction was immediate. Taking a deep breath, Owen's other hand slid up Ianto's backside to hitch around his hip. Pulling the other teen to him, he growled.

Despite how compromising their position, Ianto managed to keep his dignity, even while petting Owen's hair. "Eat up, everyone, it is getting cold."

Amused, Tosh nodded. She tore in to her bread first. Swallowing quickly, she was the first to notice their last friend. "Heads up, here comes Gwen."

Spitting out the hem of Ianto's jacket, Owen grimaced. "There went my appetite." Instead, he turned back to his plate and started shoveling in his food.

"Owen." Jack sighed. He desperately wanted to be the cause of Ianto's rumpled state, but the other teen had beat him to it. All he could do was watch as Ianto rounded the table to pull out Gwen's chair.

Plopping down in her seat, Gwen rubbed her forehead. "Hello, everyone." Her voice barely a whisper, she sighed in to her cup of coffee.

"Hi, Gwen." Seeing her nearly droop over the table, Jack slowed his chewing down. The sooner he finished, the quicker he had to talk to her. It was times like this he wished Susie hadn't blown up part of the science lab and got sent to reform school.

Taking his seat, next to Owen, Ianto sat with perfect posture and stuck the cloth napkin in his collar. He wasn't a messy eater, but accidents did happen.

After that, they were silent for a few minutes until all plates were clean.

As Ianto cleared away the plates, Jack sat back and rubbed the hairy patch of flesh visible above his pants and below his Jersey. "That was good. I've never had chicken whatever before, but it does remind me of this girl I used to know. You see, she likes to use the feathers..."

Tuning out the teen's outrageous tale with a smile, Ianto walked back to the school with the dishes.

THE END...................
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